Five neatly dressed men in suits who could probably pass for brothers if not for their hair color are seated around a table in a bar on a Friday after 5:00. They are joyous for having completed another work day in the long line of work days which they will endure until the day they gladly retire and move to Florida or Mexico and spend their savings hoping not to exhaust it before they expire. All of the five men believe that this will be the case and that they will in fact retire with a very large 401K invested in Blue Chips and Mid-Cap Growth stocks with a smaller assortment of Bonds and Mutual Funds to balance out the risk. They feel good, mildly optimistic and somewhat happy because it is Friday and they won’t have to return to work until Monday.
A waitress named Kim, brings the drinks to their table. She is tall and beautiful in a blonde sort of way and all of the men would like to sleep with her though they all know they probably won’t. She smiles and places the beer on the table hoping that they won’t speak to her again and that she won’t have to politely decline their attempts at conversation again. She hopes these things in vain.
“Thank you….Kim.” Adam says and awaits her response. She only smiles at him and begins walking away.
“Say do you think we could get….an order of wings too?” Adam looks at Tom and Brandon and they both agree knowing that he is just making an excuse to talk to her a bit more.
“Sure, barbecue or plain?” Kim gets her notepad out, prepared to write and thinks about how much she hates this job and hopes that she finds something better after college and when she has her degree – if she can raise her grades. She realizes how far away medical school really is and sighs.
“What do you say guys?” Asks Adam, trying to appear the confident Alpha Male willing to take the consideration of his subordinates into account because of the kind and sensitive leader that he is.
“Whatever you want.” Says one. “Barbecue,” says another. The other one ignores the question looking toward the bar at a redhead with fake breasts who appeared to be arguing with her boyfriend.
“Barbecue it is then.”
“Great, I’ll have it right out.” Kim replies.
The moment feels ripe. Adam knows that the moment of silence will be uncomfortable and whatever he says will feel awkward unless he says it now, so he speaks.
“Do you go to college too?” He decides on the innocent question approach that lets her know he is interested without feigning friendship.
She smiles at him, debating whether or not she wants to go with this situation and allow it to continue considering her last boyfriend stalked her and she had to take out a restraining order on him. She knows she is pretty enough to always find someone interested and she hopes one of them will make her life wonderful though knowing it will likely never happen. She decides he looks kind and dresses nice and that she will allow this to continue.
“Yeah, I go to Pepperdine, third year.” She fidgets with her nametag, adjusting it so that she looks busy and is not listening completely to what she says. She has learned to play hard to get.
“Yeah? Third year at PU eh? I went there too,” he lies. “What are you majoring in?”
“Psychology. Hope to go to medical school afterward.” She spots another guy come in – older, more attractive. She smiles at Adam and then floats away without saying a word, her head filled with romantic thoughts that will probably never materialize.
“Fuck her,” Adam adds non-chalantly. “She don’t know what she’s missing.” He adds with aplomb. “Back to work talk. Okay?”
Nobody says anything, recognizing the fragility of his ego at this point and realizing if they did the attack would turn to them, a temporary support system for his failed self image.
A few uncomfortable seconds of silence passes, with all of them staring at each other, the beer in front of them or the other patrons of the bar in no particular order. Finally the uncomfortable silence becomes too much to bear.
Jake reaches for the beer pitcher and pours everybody another round.
“Let’s remember we are here as a celebration. Let’s drink to that new million dollar account closed by….” He makes patomines a drum roll motion on the table, beating his fingers on the wood. “Adam Timors!” Jake says the last bit with a louder than usual voice, as to make it a more stupendous achievement than it really is. It works.
With that they all raise their glasses in celebration and Adam eats it up, feeling their praise flow over his wounded ego like coconut milk.
“I still can’t believe you closed that bitch! I tried everything but sleeping with her – and that was next on my list before they transferred it over to you.”
“Well, we know for certain you would have never got a sale if you had slept with her. Unless you offered to not do it again if she would just buy!” The group breaks out laughing again, their laughter oiled by alcohol enough to realize it isn’t really funny but they will laugh anyway and pretend that it is.
“So how did you get the account anyway Adam? I mean why did they transfer it over to you?” Jake asks.
“Hey, they know who makes the rain in this company. When it comes down to it, they know when its closing time that they better give me a call. What can I say?” Jakes speaks with a matter of factness that defies the concept of modesty. He believes everything he sees and thinks others do too.
“So have you decided what you’re going to do with the bonus yet?” Allen asks him.
“Naah. Not yet. I thought about buying a boat. One of those speed boats. Or maybe even a sail boat. I don’t know. I just feel like taking up a new hobby. It’s been so hot this summer. Maybe the heat is just driving me fucking crazy.”
“C’mon Therin, if you’re gonna work hard you gotta play hard too!” Adam says while grabbing the pitcher and pouring beer into the half-empty glass in front of a small wiry man, with sensitive eyes, a wide mouth and intelligent face.
Therin tentatively reaches for the beer and takes another drink. He acts as if even that small action is somehow imposing on everyone else.
“Yeah, I hear you. I’m trying.” Therin manages, but his words lack enthusiasm.
“Trying? Just what is it with you? We got money, we are in a bar with beautiful single women surrounding us. We’re young and virile. What more could we want?” This from Tom, who does his best Adam impersonation of speaking with bravado.
Therin seems to be truly considering what he is saying, as if maybe there is something to it and that perhaps he should consider this particular point as the pinnacle of his existence.
“Oh no, I feel it coming on now. You shouldn’t have got him started Tom,” adds Adam.
“Yes that voice from the deep is about to impart one of his words of wisdom to the swine.”
They all laugh at this as Therin just shakes his head.
“Nope. I am not going to say a thing.”
“Oh come on. You know you want to.”
Therin gives in.
“I don’t know I guess I just feel there has to be more to it than this. I mean what the hell? Is this all life is about? We are born. Then we shit, sleep, eat and fuck for X number of years and then we die.”
The group breaks out into laughter.
Finally Adam manages to quit laughing long enough to speak, “Man you think way too much Therin. I mean seriously, ever heard the saying that life is a comedy if you think and a tragedy if you feel. Maybe you should give the feeling thing a break. Know what I mean?”
“Well you guys asked. That is what I was thinking. Did you guys see “The Matrix”?
“Jesus, of course we saw the fucking Matrix. Everybody saw the Matrix.” Adam replies.
“Well what if this reality is like somehow not the real reality? What if this is some elaborate construction of sorts – an illusion?”
Tom shakes his head at this.
“That’s your problem. You watch too many damn movies. And besides a movie is for entertainment purposes Therin. It’s a facsimile of real life. It isn’t some existential observation of the real world.”
“No, maybe not. Still, it is an interesting thought.”
Finally Adam says, “Jesus you guys and your philosophy. Tell you what I am going to have one more beer and then I am going home. You guys can debate the meaning of existence without me. I have a plane to catch tomorrow.”
From there their conversations dissolve into banter about the upcoming football season, ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, politics and work. They drink more beer and then about the time the bar is about to close they say their goodbyes and get into their separate cars and go home and crawl into their beds alone or with someone else and go to sleep in preparation for the next day.
Millions of miles above them the moon looks on, watching the shadow it casts over an earth hidden from the sun.
* * * *
The sun rises over the horizon shining onto the gray cement of millions of high rise buildings, the cities and town, people and animals of a world that depends on it to exist. A few notice and see the light as it falls onto the planet, dissipating the darkness of the night before.
The city of Dallas is already humming with activity. The traffic gnarls on the highways and on the side streets with millions of people leaving their homes for a sojourn into the world of commerce for their eight hours of a day filled with things they had rather not be doing but must to exist. A million sighs can be heard in cars and rooms and buildings all across the city. Some are resigned, some are optimistic for a change that will never come. Some will die within the day and some will feel pleasure for a moment or discover things they had rather have not known.
Somewhere in the masses people try to hold their heads up and breathe.
